Do Not Wanna Go To Work Today!

Today I did not want to go to work and so I sent a quick e-mail to my bosses explaining my absence:

After every great victory there is a glorious feast with flowing libations, wenches, and endless delights to sooth the soul. These feasts often extend into the late evening hours mayhaps, even 'til the morn.

Thus, it happened at such a venue. I believe the mutton, which supple and succulent as it was, may have been tampered with. While many say it is naught but tainted meat, I knew better.

This was how I found myself traveling through the Valley of Eternal Midnight in the dawn hours.

Poison is not to be trifled with, and believing that this indeed was my ailment I made haste for the witch in Marshes of Death.

Throughout the journey my illness crept through my body and strong though I am my strength could not hold my dinner in it's place. Pain, which I prefer not to describe in front of women racked my body as I stumbled through the marshes.

My skin had now an ashen hew as I found myself collapse at the entrance to the witches hut. Delirious as I was I was careful not to stare at the hag the picked me up as if I were a child's plaything and brought in to her abode.

Stricken of my facilities i was forced to lay there helpless as the witch performed her magics on me. Horrified, I watched as she made her potions of unimaginable creatures and fluids all the while chanting to herself. My mind was a haze and so I could not tell if her murmurs were that of a spell or of her own madness.



Her potions made my regurgitation's worse, but I could not tell if the potions were working or the vileness of its ingredients that made my insides curdle.

In the end, I had returned to my former self and traveled back through the Marshes of Death and the Valley of Eternal Midnight, but when I returned to the feast i found that my friends had been murdered in cold blood as the sickness racked their bodies.

Now I must begin. My vengeance will be swift, justice is my sword, and those who performed this travesty will be dealt with.